Most couples who end up getting married have many things in common. They might have the same tastes when it comes to food, clothing, the idea of a romantic date, etc. But for some people, they find their dates who are their complete opposite charming. They end up learning something new and experiencing things they never thought of trying.
But the question is, why do opposites attract and how can you make the relationship between polar opposites work?
What Science Has to Say About Opposites Attract
According to a 2009 study, one’s genetic makeup can affect how we choose our partners. The study states that opposites attract as a way to ensure one will have a healthy reproduction. In short, humans are wired to choose a mate with different traits to produce healthy offsprings.
Did you know that according to a study, having too many common traits with your partner can actually do more harm than good to your relationship? Most of the time, couples who are too alike don’t last long. This is the reason why many celebrity couples who seemed to match so well end up with failed relationships.
Despite being polar opposites, many couples in the past were able to make it work. The reason is they don’t let their difference stand between them. In fact, they use their differences to learn, be a better person, complement each other.
Making a Polar Opposite Relationship Work
Thankfully, there are many things complete opposite couples can do to make their relationship last long. It won’t be easy as you may have different wants and needs. But the secret is wanting to make it work to keep your spouse happy.
Always find a common ground
Many polar opposites end up with a failed marriage because one or both are unwilling to compensate. One can only last long in a relationship if their needs at met. If you and your spouse are willing to work on your marriage, always find a common ground.
Talk to your spouse about your differences and take turns to let each other know about your side. You may already know your spouse very well, but not the reason behind their actions or decisions. Remember that if you truly love each other, both of you will be willing to compromise.
There are ways you can both be happy even if you have different preferences. Take your sleeping routes and preferences, for instance. Most women feel cold at night while men find the opposite. If one of you ends up staying all night because your partner is unwilling to compensate, one will end up grumpy, leading to more arguments all day.
Thankfully, there are technologies made available to solve this very problem, like a sleep system with dual-temp comfort technology. Now, couples can sleep in the same bed without taking their comforts for granted.
Set Up Healthy Boundaries
You and your partner like different things and have different needs. Both of you need to accept the fact that when you have different certain interests, you may have different ways of indulging in those interests. There is a need for both of you to understand that you are still your own person and would appreciate your partner in respecting your decision.
For instance, your partner needs some space to think about their problems at work. You can offer your two cents only if they ask you for it. Don’t overstep boundaries and give each other time apart.
If your spouse needs your help, you should let them know you are there for them. The same goes for when you need your own space. If you both respect each other’s space and already set up a healthy boundary, it will be easier for you to enjoy the activities you love doing.
It is also a good idea to keep an open mind about your partner’s interests. You can surprise them by trying to understand why they love playing video games, for instance. They will surely be surprised about you taking an interest in their hobbies, and you can end up enjoying their meaning of fun.
Only Argue Like Adults
Many marriages end up miserably because the people involved only know how to fight like kids. They get too emotional and only let their hearts speak without thinking first. They let arguments drag on for days or weeks with only one or none of them willing to apologize first.
One cardinal rule of marriage is to fight well. There is no such thing as trying to fight fair since we all want to win in arguments. And if you simply accept your spouse’s shortcomings without saying what’s on your mind, they can end up thinking they are always the ones in the right when they are not.
When you fight, it is best to listen to what your partner has to say, empathize and understand their side. After listening, state your side next. If you did something wrong, apologize sincerely and avoid making the same mistake again.
It is never impossible for polar opposites to have a lasting marriage. But remember that this will only work if both parties are willing to make it work. So, make sure to fight like adults, create healthy boundaries, and find a common ground if you want your relationship to last.